I found a beautiful short video with a father singing to his two months old daughter. It is clear to see that they are both deeply involved in their being together.

The father comes so near that she can see him clearly and then he sings in such a loving tone the words from his heart. The little girl is about 7-8 weeks old and she understands and receives his love and gives back her love to her father.

He holds her head because otherwise the head will turn to the sides.

This is a little baby with her needs met. She is not hungry and not sleepy.

Some people who are not yet parents maybe could fear that they can’t give all that contact. To help such people I would say that the small ones so easily get overwhelmed and soon show sign of being tired. That’s when you choose to change the scene and just take her into your heart and take away all stimuli. Then back to bed and she will sleep until next time you are together. (I know that this sounds so easy, but I assure you that by reacting quickly on the needs of your baby he or she will feel understood and will fall asleep.) See another post on this. 

If you fear that you can’t give that love and don’t know what to say or sing I suggest that you tell her what’s going on. What you are going to do and what she is doing or going to do. In that way you never run short of things to tell her. Stop and nod at her making “Big eyes confirming eyes” then wait for her response. Then you repeat her answer. (If you don’t know what that is, it’s sounds and mimics.)

If you are not feeling well yourself and are afraid you can’t match the level of love she needs then know that your baby loves to see you at a close distance and to hear these words like the father gives.   When she returns her love to you will be able to receive it too. It can’t wait until she is older. If you really feel you are inadequate in giving the love, you have to be open about it and let your spouse or another close friend or relative be a constant caregiver so that your baby will learn to connect to another person and not become deprived and insecure.

I have written about a case on emotional deprivation if you would like to read it. I have done another on my fascination of the father-child relationship.

I took this photo today in Herning