My Fascination of a Father- Child Relationship

Today’s Prompt: Go to a local café, park, or public place and write a piece inspired by something you see.

I did too much exercise today. I ran 12 km and then went to a step class.

I did not do well this afternoon and my “boiled spaghetti” legs wanted to leave. I stayed anyway and I am so glad I did. I looked through the wall-like windows to the café at the Training Centre. I saw a young father with a pram ( baby carrier) sit down at a table.  He grabbed the baby in a quick experienced way and prepared to feed him with a bottle. After a while he rose with the baby in his arms and walked, rocking him. The father seemed to know the rocking motion helps the baby get rid of air in its stomach.

All this is a completely every day situation for any mother on earth. I am drawn to such situations and I have always been.

I grew up in a town at the outskirts of Copenhagen. The town was called ” The Town of Prams” in the fifties. In my childhood I grew up in a town at the outskirts of Copenhagen and in the fifties that town was called “The Town Prams”. Now the same town could be called “The Town of Walkers”.

 

The families had moved from the small overcrowded block of flats in Copenhagen to better housing in former farmers’ fields. Even then I was absorbed in watching big brothers or fathers walking with prams. It was rarely seen then.

Once my 6 year older cousin Niels Henrik visited us after we had been put to bed. He and his two brothers came into my room and had some fun. He took a pencil and showed me how it was put towards his ear and then right through his head and out it came from the other ear. I think I was five years old and very fascinated.

Today I know that my love for such a sight goes back to my relationship with my own father. I think he loved us and showed it when we were very small, but as I grew up he became more and more distant due to his own problems. He cured himself with sleeping pills and tranquilizers through the rest of his life. As a child I thought that was normal, but I missed feeling secure in his presence.

My parents at our one year birthday

My parents at our one year birthday

A mother is essential to a child, but a father is too. It took many years to overcome the lack of security and the feeling that I was not worthy. Regaining confidence is like building on a new foundation. The process is very slow.

A good relationship with a father provides a secure identity. In my time as a health visitor I have witnessed an increasing number of young fathers who were just as engaged in their children as were the mothers. They ask questions and are engaged emotionally.

The sight of a loving and caring father touches me.

A young grandfather Tobbe Blad with his grandchild

A young grandfather Tobbe Blad with his grandchild

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14 Comments »

  1. Wow I feel very strongly about this issue, of how fathers interact with their children, as I was raised slightly differently to you. My father took the main role and I was mainly raised by him, so I see how important fathers are and it frustrates me when people assume fathers are not necessary as I strongly disagree with that sentiment. This was such a hopeful piece, and it is nice to know that father’s are not being pushed aside and not acknowledged.

    Like

    • Thank you @Lucydanvers for telling me your story. There is a reason why I always looked so intensely seeing a sight like in the post. Tell me more through your posts on this subject if you would

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Reblogged this on Maria Holm and commented:

    I take part in the writing 101 course and today’s title is :” Let the Scene Write Itself” I felt prompted to use a post I did on the same subject earlier this year. Some posts should be allowed to come up to the surface once more.

    Like

  3. You write a lovely story. Could I please be so bold as to make a suggestion? I am only doing so because I wish other people would offer critiques and not just praise for my writing – I think we all want to improve! That being said, you have a few grammatical errors that I found to distract from your writing. It might be helpful if you were to ask someone to help you edit.
    I loved your use of photos.
    Best wishes!

    Like

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