My Fascination of a Father- Child Relationship


I did too much exercise today. I ran 12 km and then went to a step class.

I did not do well this afternoon, and my “boiled spaghetti” legs wanted to leave. I stayed anyway, and I am so glad I did. I looked through the wall-like windows to the café at the Training Centre. I saw a young father with a pram (baby carrier) sit down at a table.  He grabbed the baby in a quick, experienced way and prepared to feed him with a bottle. After a while, he rose with the baby in his arms and walked, rocking him. The father seemed to know the rocking motion helps the baby get rid of the air in its stomach.

All this is an everyday situation for any mother on earth. I watched such cases, and I still do.

I grew up in a town on the outskirts of Copenhagen. It was called ” The Town of Prams” in the fifties. Now the same city could be called “The Town of Walkers.”




The families had moved from the small, overcrowded block of flats in Copenhagen to better housing in former farmers’ fields. Even then, I was absorbed in watching big brothers or fathers walking with prams. It was rarely seen then.

Once my six years older cousin Niels Henrik visited us after we had were put to bed. He and his two brothers came into my room and had some fun. He took a pencil and made it to his ear and then “right through his head” and out from the other ear. I think I was five years old and very fascinated.

Today I know that my love for such a sight goes back to my relationship with my father. I think he loved us and showed it when we were tiny, but as I grew up, he became more and more distant due to his own problems. He cured himself with sleeping pills and tranquillisers through the rest of his life. As a child, I thought that was normal, but I missed feeling secure in his presence.

My parents at our one year birthday

My parents at our one year birthday

A mother is essential to a child, but a father is too. It took many years to overcome the lack of security and the feeling that I was not worthy. Regaining confidence is like building on a new foundation. The process is prolonged.



My eldest son with his first child

A good relationship with a father provides a secure identity. In my time as a health visitor, I have witnessed an increasing number of young fathers who were engaged in their children. We take for granted that the mothers are involved in their children. They ask questions and are engaged emotionally.


The sight of a loving and caring father touches me.

A young grandfather Tobbe Blad with his grandchild

A young grandfather Tobbe Blad with his grandchild


  1. Wow I feel very strongly about this issue, of how fathers interact with their children, as I was raised slightly differently to you. My father took the main role and I was mainly raised by him, so I see how important fathers are and it frustrates me when people assume fathers are not necessary as I strongly disagree with that sentiment. This was such a hopeful piece, and it is nice to know that father’s are not being pushed aside and not acknowledged.


    • Thank you @Lucydanvers for telling me your story. There is a reason why I always looked so intensely seeing a sight like in the post. Tell me more through your posts on this subject if you would

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Reblogged this on Maria Holm and commented:

    I take part in the writing 101 course and today’s title is :” Let the Scene Write Itself” I felt prompted to use a post I did on the same subject earlier this year. Some posts should be allowed to come up to the surface once more.


  3. You write a lovely story. Could I please be so bold as to make a suggestion? I am only doing so because I wish other people would offer critiques and not just praise for my writing – I think we all want to improve! That being said, you have a few grammatical errors that I found to distract from your writing. It might be helpful if you were to ask someone to help you edit.
    I loved your use of photos.
    Best wishes!


  4. I am close to my children in the way that they tell me at once when there is trouble and sometimes they get so mad with me when in fact they are mad with themselves. I was a single mother for four years with four children until Henry entered the scene


  5. I enjoyed your article, becouse I think that happy baby have mom AND DAD. I hate to see some women taking their kid away from father “you don’t know how to do this or that but I know”…It’s so unfair! I love to see how my doughter’s playing with her dad and her dad playing with his doughter 🙂


    • It’s so right what you say here. The mothers spend more time with the youngest babies and have an advantage from that. The fathers have to fight a bit more to be accepted by newborn babies. They win tremendously if they don’t give up


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