Quality time with your baby
Why is a lake blue?
The sun is shining and the sky is blue and the water is reflecting the clear blue sky. At other times the same water is dark as lead or grey depending again on the colour of the sky.
An awake young baby will be eagerly looking for her mother’s face. Depending on her age her eyes will be big and interested or later on burst into a big smile being met by the mother’s loving eyes and calming talk. The exact same thing could be said about a father and his baby boy or girl.
An awake young baby is looking for her mother’s face and finds her buried in her iPhone. The mother just needs to send a message or read something on a social media and that takes 20 seconds. The infant gets confused and can’t wait that long. The situation is stored in the brain and when repeated, again and again, the baby knows that it is not worth the effort to expect a quick response from her mother.
The eyes of the baby get an empty expression and eye contact becomes difficult to acquire. The moment of awake readiness to receive impulses of love and eye contact has disappeared and to regain it the mother has to work harder to recreate confidence.
We have known the mechanisms of establishing good eye contact and an emotionally healthy bonding for at least forty years and suddenly this essential knowledge is thrown in the gutter by so many. My guess is that it’s like any other addiction. Even those who are educated and know better get hooked up in the addiction to the internet by smartphones following them all over the place day and night.
What can be done?
We should not hesitate to ask the parents if they know what it means to small babies to be hindered in their natural bonding by distracted parents occupied by their smartphones.
What if they get offended? Most parents want the best for their children so they will respect to be educated when it’s said in a kind voice.
My good Australian blogger friend Paol Soren writes on the same subject please have a look.