While doing yesterdays task on the #blogging101 course I came across a very short interesting post on how real friends could keep you up in times of need.
As I responded with a story from my life about how just a simple thing as sharing with a friend what’s going on in a difficult relationship, this dear blogger sent me links to other articles on the same subject in a more profound way.
She explained the nature of a bullying person. How a controller lives his or her life through you if you let her or him do it.
She described the controlling person as a very lazy person who doesn’t take responsibility for his own life and is governing by guilt feeling and run over people like tanks over fences. MichelleMarie the blogger who wrote this has learnt to stop a bully.
I must admit that I have not yet learnt to stop bullying persons, but I have learnt to get away from them. I had to leave my first husband after 9 years even though I had to be a single mother with 4 small children. But even the children felt the relief when I finally did leave.
I have had a boss that somehow loved to find fault or weaknesses in my work or character.
I couldn’t win over her by doing an extra good job or giving her something or taking the tasks that nobody volunteered for. It didn´t help. What a relief to leave her influence. I am well aware that you can´t always leve a situation so practising your own boundaries can be trained for the rest of your life. And you can learn to recognise a bully or a very controlling person before getting too involved.
I have found that you can ask the bully questions like :
“What is your intention with that”?
Remember to call her name! It helps to mark that you don’t fear her!
While the tension was at the highest peak a Churchill quote helped me a lot:
Keep Calm and Carry on