Reflection

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “For Posterity.”

Like a law of nature. A baby says different sounds and expresses his emotions of joy, energy, curiosity or maybe irritation, hunger, being tired or bored you have to answer and match exactly that particular emotion in words and show the mimic to “tell” the baby that you know what he is going through.

Even children mirror each other

Even children mirror each other

The child is so helpless and is calling to be understood. He needs caring parents who can answer and help quickly and relevantly.

All the answers are put in store in the brain and the baby will gain the feeling of security knowing that he belongs to the family in safety.

 She will look back at him in a second

She will look back at him in a second

If the experience is that he is not helped or understood or the answers just come too late the baby probably will get an insecure feeling of emptiness and confusion. If he could he would ask:

“What do I need?…… I haven’t a clue”.

Maybe some parents are occupied in their mobile phone. In former times  the TV that was in between the relationship with the baby or just created a distance to him.

A depressed parent is also loves the child, but will be too slow in the interaction with the baby. The child learns to look elsewhere than in the parents eyes.

An emotional deprived child will often be quick to come up and crawl and walk to find some stimulation. The quality of  precious contact will not be good and the child is in danger of getting a superficial way of connecting to the parents.

Fortunately the situation can be turned around with a lot of purposeful training. The child is a social being and “mirroring” can be used.

If the child doesn’t look for the mother’s eyes, the mother should mirror every movement the baby does. If the baby is crawling the mother does the same. He lifts his arm and looks intensively or in an asking way and the mother does the same.

Image MH

Image MH

Little by little he will be so curious and look back at his mother who then is supposed to smile and again wait for a new initiative. Without this kind of interaction the child is in danger of being without boundaries and will not know of dangers.

This kind of imitating each other is a very meaningful kind of game for children younger than 12 months old. But if the abilities mentioned are lacking the same can be used in older ages too to catch up on the essentials of being together.

24 Comments »

  1. And that is one of the reasons that I loved being a stay-at-home mom. The best years of my life were spent nurturing my children. I nursed each child for three years..and our time of bonding was so valuable. I also think it was incredibly important to sing and read to them. As such, all three love music and books. Parenting is the most important job in the world but the payoff when you turn around and see that your children have grown into caring, kind, and hard-working adults is worth more than any amount of money! Just my two cents worth!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Wow Catherine! I am so glad to hear this from you. To help the children concentrate while reading and singing is so valuable. Knowledge on language and the feeling of belonging doesn’t just come by it self

      Like

    • Yes Bernadette! I love it too and I sneak to use it as the older one is my granddaughter. I think it represent the idea so well and when small children us an iPad they don’t get this fine tuned response

      Like

  2. It’s a wonder my beautiful daughter has turned out as well as she has! As a single parent, I was stretched very thin. I did manage to read to her though and it must have worked, because she has just bought “The Poky Little Puppy who followed his Nose Home”, again. Being dysfunctional, most of our possessions did not survive multiple relocations!

    Like

    • It’s incredible that infants without a spoken language can learn signs for “being thirsty” etc. One secret for this is to be very clear in mimic and language repeating the everyday situations over and over from a short distance so that the child can see it clearly

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s